Family and friends will always have opinions on what you should be doing differently. The struggle, is knowing when they have good advice and when they are spouting crap.
Let’s face it, everyone has motivations and agendas. One hopes that friends and family provide accurate insight and sound advice.
Take what your parents and friends think into consideration, but trust your gut. Most of the time, your gut is right.
Should you listen to friends?
For example, a friend of mine tells me I will be unsuccessful at running a tech startup because Im not a comp-sci major or an engineer. His theory is that the recipe for success is to be highly technical first, and then develop / be blessed with business sense and vision. He cites Larry and Sergei from Google, and other technical people he knows who have achieved success in consulting and technology companies.
So, what is my reaction to this?
Im upset that my friend is not supportive of my goals. Im ignoring his opinion for the most part. It’s not constructive to listen to ANYONE who uses the words “can’t , don’t, won’t” when they talk to you. I care about and respect my friend but I realize that what he believes is realistic, is just negativity.
Do parents have your best interest in mind?
If your parents are normal, they want you to be more successful than them, they want you to be independent and they want you to be happy. The problem is, they are also human. This means they have flaws. They may say “I told you so”. They may not understand what you’re trying to do and tell you to get a real job. They may not always be able to say the right thing to you. The problem is, if you’re looking for advice and approval, they are at the top or near the top of the totem pole. When they say something negative or discouraging, it’s hard to ignore.
My mother reminded a family friend who is a very smart man and always looking for the next big thing, but has been a failure all his life. Wow, how motivating! Obviously, she is sharing her fear about that happening to me. I can appreciate her concern, but IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE!
What if I’m delusional?
You’re not. Self belief is a much more powerful tool than you think. Most people in the world don’t follow their dreams and it’s tough for them to see people who do. The people who haven’t achieved greatness are hardly the ones to define what is possible / impossible in your world. What’s important is not to ignore completely when people discourage you, but to spin their defeatist advice into positive action.
Wow, I feel better after writing this.
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